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    Not many people can say that they've worked alongside a Hollywood actor like Billy Bob Thornton, but Brett Kelly can definitely add it to his list of achievements. Here's how to write the best possible dating profile and find yourself that match.

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    , like, “a guy told me he was looking for a girlfriend by next year so he’d have someone to split rent with.” Then there was the charmer who told his date about the time he “got wasted, peed and mopped it up with his clothes, and then wore them.” Um, yeah.

    , we’d like to assume you know better than to make mistakes like these.

    That’s what I told our family friend who was concerned that I wasn’t dating at the age of 26. It’s just that I found the whole dating scene rather depressing.

    So one solution to this dilemma is to avoid the subject altogether and remain single.

    Don’t obsess over that weird nerve-induced thing you blurted out (e.g.

    Sloooow down there, buddy – no matter how into this person you are, don’t go changing your Facebook relationship status just yet!

    But, when you ask a matchmaker who has been on the front line of the dating field for fourteen years, you get a different response.

    By the time your date comes around, she’ll already have lost interest or have found someone more attentive.

    If you really are going away, wait until you get back to ask her out.

    A good rule of thumb: if you aren’t available for a date within 7 days of sending the message, don’t send it.

    NOT-SO-SMOOTH OPERATOR The scenario: “I recently received a message that said, ‘Damn you’re a pretty white girl, you into muscular black men?

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